1. Said to another midwife by a patient when asked who she was planning to have at her birth for an attendant (midwife or doctor)? "I think I will have a doctor because I'm afraid the midwife will get in the way of my husband supporting me during labor.
- Ok, sunshine - let us know how that one works out!
2. Said to me (numerous times this one occurs) after counseling on 5, 10, 12 pound, etc weight gains in far too short a time..."I don't eat that much".
- Well sweetie, got bad news for ya...you aren't having a baby, you're having an elephant!
3. Said to me after counseling a pregnant patient on smoking cessation - "My last doctor said that smoking was good for keeping the baby from getting too big".
- Please stop procreating