I'm in a delivery with terminal bradycardia and yucky decels. Nursery nurse is standing by and I have my labor nurse at the bedside with me. The patient, who speaks no English, is pushing well and delivery will occur before I can get a doc there to vacuum. The head is crowning, the nurse asks me if I will cut an epis to hasten delivery (and this isn't the retard moment). I say no and instead do minimal Ritgen's maneuver.
Head delivers with loop of cord hanging out.
The head is big.
The patient is very small.
I tell the nurse to pull the emergency call light to get some extra help. She then prepares to do suprapubic pressure and McRoberts all by herself as I can tell it will be a tight fit.
Over the intercom "Can I help you?"
Huh? The normal response when the emergency call light goes off is no one answers it...cause nurses are busy rushing into the room.
I say "We need help in here"
"Who would you like?"
Please shoot me now. What the f*** is going on?
I say "nurses"
No one ever comes. So I am totally pissed off and wondering what the hell happened. Fortunately the nurse and I managed the shoulder dystocia, which was mild, and had a good outcome.
Turns out that someone on the postpartum unit answered the call light and never bothered to call back to L&D to let them know or check if there was a problem.
Lovely. Postpartum was told not to answer L&D call lights ever again.
Oh, the patient delivered over an intact perineum - 8 pound baby and her first as well.