Sunday, March 9, 2008

IUFD

Mommy was 20 weeks, I took her to the US (ultrasound) room because I couldn't find FHTs (fetal heart tones). I'm no pro with US but could not find cardiac movement. I told her that I was concerned and sent her for a 'professional' ultrasound. Definitely a IUFD (intrauterine fetal demise) :( I caught the baby a couple days later...was my first time catching an IUFD. I had watched these before as an RN but to be the one catching this tiny baby...this is a time when I would gladly trade back to being a nurse and letting someone else do the deed. Will these people forever associate me with the birth of their dead baby?

Another woman spontaneously ruptured at 17 weeks. She made it a week before delivering her tiny baby into my hands.

They say bad things come in threes...

13 comments:

PE Mommy said...

From a patient perspective, it is the worst thing in the world to hear there is no heartbeat. I miscarried at 13 1/2 weeks a few weeks ago. Had seen the heartbeat on US twice at 8 1/2 and 12 1/2 weeks. Only to go to the transnuchal scan at my peri's and there was no heartbeat. My ob took it as hard as I did. I cried but he had to do the deed with my d&c. Thank God, he took care of everything ASAP. He did it during his lunch and stayed in recovery with me till I went back upstairs to ob. We are currently trying again. I wondered when mine happened, who else would be up there. Cause I had heard the it comes in threes too.

Ciarin said...

Thank you for sharing your experience. Do you automatically think of this experience when you see your OB?

Anonymous said...

I am a medical student, I was following an ultrasound session during such an unfortunate case. By dates, the mother showed a 22 week pregnancy... BPD estimated a 20 week one.

I don't know what the mother will thin of us who were in that room... All I know is that i was rather shocked, let alone the mother herself.

Heather W said...

Hi,

In November of 2008 I lost baby Grace at 17 weeks. It was found during a routine ultrasound. Actually, her last few heartbeats happened during the u/s. Extremely sad and traumatic.

I've been in to see my OB/Gyn a few times since. I don't think of him as the "mean guy who delivered my dead baby". I think of him as "a great doctor who helped me through a really difficult time." So maybe it comes down to how you yourself handled the situation at that time. Being a midwife, I'm sure it was with a lot of compassion and sympathy. :O)

Anonymous said...

Hi, I lost my pregnancy at 25-th week about six months ago. The nurses were great, helping, caring, soothing... No traumatic experience related to the nurses.

Anonymous said...

After 15 months of trying naturaully to conceive my husband and I gave up, and made an appointment with a fertility specialist for a month later. The day before the appointment, on my 28th birthday, before we even met the specialist or had treatments, I had a positive test. We were beyond overjoyed! At the ultrasound the next day they told us it was twins. Boys. Our joy quickly turned to sorrow. Their were complications: the boys were rare types of twins in the same sac sharing the same blood supply. I lost my job due to my restrictions. I became pre-eclamptic and hospitalized for daily ultrasounds and labwork at 24 weeks. On our 31st day at the hospital, the day after our wonderful twin baby shower, during the routine daily ultrasound: we found out our youngest was gone. It was beyond devestating. It made it even more horrific to have so many medical students whome were strangers in the room. The moment I saw him on the screen my heart sank, he was still, no black flutter. I stuttered, "Where's.....where's his heartbeat?" and the only thing the resident said was, "I don't see one." That's it. And then another Dr. came and stared at the screen. I kept asking to please do something, save him, save my other twin (whom was fighting at the moment). Everything was in slow motion. They whisked me back for an emergency c section. How could this happen? We just had our baby shower the day before...our house was filled with duplicates, my husband had completed the double nursery to surprise me with when we brought the boys home. We had balloons from the shower the day before, papering our hospital room with both of their names embossed with matching napkins........The hardest part was in surgery I waited, cried, and it was silent after my first son was born. I kept waiting for the second cry and it never came. I tearfully asked the anesthesiologist if my second baby was ok, and with tears in his eyes he shook his head no. I asked if he was sure, if it was obvious and he nodded his head yes. Then he held my hand....That was all 7 months ago. I don't remember anything much after I found out, except the bits in surgery. I try to remember but I can't. It still hurts so much. My other son is finally thriving after multiple hospitalizations, surgeries and home equipment. I don't know what I'll tell him or how to handle things when he's older. So, for all the medical people out there, I just wanted to say, we are not just cases, we our real people with broken hearts and dreams shattered, not just, "I don't see one." One sentence to shatter the world.......

Tanya said...

Oh goodness, I cry reading your stories. I'm a christian, so I have to say, keep faith because I believe everything happens for a purpose, and only time, and true belief can help get you through the times.

Nothing like your stories, but I was a little shaken with my 1st pregnancy, since she was classified with 'heart failure' and they were ready to transfer me to OB/GYN at Columbia so that when I gave birth, the baby could have heart surgery, but with the grace of God, it wasn't as serious as originally thought, no surgery needed (she just turned 1 year old). I'm expecting again, 19 weeks, but I cannot imagine something going wrong with my unborn, or even something happening with my daughter. I don't know if I could cope, but I know how I will try, and that's by following my own advice.

Hope there's some peace in time. I feel your pain.

Anonymous said...

The tears are flowing as I read all of your stories. I relive that moment of loss in my life nearly five months ago. First, comes a +A-Fetoprotein test, after finally accepting and coping with that issue, I start dreading an amniocentesis. Four days before my appointment to find out the sex, I start to notice decreased fetal movement, which worried me even more. All of my co-workers cheered me on, reassured that we would know the sex when I return to work in three day. I had a few lower back and abdominal pain, that I was sure a tylenol would fix. After my showering, I began drying off when I notice some spotting. I panic and run to the bedroom waking up my husband. He's embracing me and encourages me to get some rest until I fall asleep. A few hours of sleep later, I go to the bathroom when there is a repeat of last night. I notify my doctor of the symptoms and was ordered to the ER immediately. Three ultrasounds by three specialists later. IUFD was confirmed. I was so naive thinking, it would never happen to me, until I realized that a higher power has the final say.

Anonymous said...

I am currently recovering from this. My little one had no heartbeat at the 18 week checkup. There is no more cruel phrase in the world to and expectant mother than fetal demise. My doctor and nurses were exceptionally kind and caring during my ordeal. Due to an adverse reaction to demerol and a back problem that kept me from spinal/epidural, I wound up having labor induced and delivered with no pain meds. It was the most physically and emotionally difficult experience of my life, and I will never forget the kindness of those nurses, some of whom had shared their similar experiences with me at that time. There are very few things as heartbreaking as hearing "no heartbeat". I still feel lost, and empty, and like I will never be the same.

vishnu said...

Another to add to the grieving mothers list. I've completed 28th weeks a month ago, and found no movement throughout the night during a weekend. Concerned, I went to see doctor who immediately put me for ultrasound to confirm the dreaded IUFD. I'm still in the shock as I suffer from arthritis as well. My Doctor has not told any possible cause, but told it is not uncommon even near fullterm.

vishnu said...

Another to add to the grieving mothers list. I've completed 28th weeks a month ago, and found no movement throughout the night during a weekend. Concerned, I went to see doctor who immediately put me for ultrasound to confirm the dreaded IUFD. I'm still in the shock as I suffer from arthritis as well. My Doctor has not told any possible cause, but told it is not uncommon even near fullterm.

Kate said...

Today is the three month anniversary of my daughter's birth. My beautiful girl was stillborn. Eight short days before my due date, I went in for an ultrasound to check on my polyhydramnios. She was gone. Labor was induced the next day, and I had Grace Louise at 3:08am, October 21. She weighed 7 lbs, 10 ounces. As soon as she was born, the cause of death was obvious. There was a giant true knot in her umbilical cord. I am tormented by "what ifs." We were so close to holding our sweet little girl. Instead, we planned her funeral. She looked so much like her daddy, but had my long fingers. We held her for as long as they would let us before we said our final goodbyes.

MY OB cried with us and has been extraordinarily supportive. Our delivery nurses are some of the most exceptional human beings I've ever met, and I hope to see them again when we're back under happier circumstances. The crushing weight of losing a child mere days before she was due has been more than I can bear. She was our first. We tried for a year to get pregnant, and although I had severe morning sickness all through my pregnancy, she was as healthy as could be. Happy 3 month Birthday, sweet Gracie Lou.

Anonymous said...

I just had my baby boy a week back. He too was still born. It was my first pregnancy after years of TTC and medication. I was past 6 months when I felt my baby movements decrease a little one day. But I was not worried since my doctor said it happens sometimes but if movements are there its ok. Next day me and my husband went for our routine scans. We were so happy that we get to see him. In the scan room the doctor felt worried. He was scanning here and there I didnt know what was happening till he said there is no beat, the baby is not moving. I felt a hand crush my heart. It was devastating. Its difficult to cope with the fact that he is not in my arms. I named him Zaush. Be happy baby.