Thursday, March 20, 2008


My youngest child will be adventuring off to K5 this fall and this makes me very sad. My baby will be in elementary school!

I occasionally dream about having another baby. Typically in the dream, I am full-term and in labor. Last time I dreamed that I checked myself and was 7cm so told my husband and mother that we needed to go to the hospital. The hospital we were going to was the one I catch babies at in real life so this means it was 45 minutes away. But then my water broke and I flt like I needed to push. I re-checked myself and was complete (10cm) with the baby on its way. I told my husband and mother they would just have to help me have the baby as I was not having it in the car on the way to the hospital! Then I woke up.

Does it sound like I have some regrets and also some angst about my youngest daughter? You're damn right then! I do have some regrets about my birth experiences. I have regrets that I didn't have the birth experience I dream about. I have regrets that I didn't breastfeed longer.

If I could go back and have another child (I can't - my tubes are tied) would I? No. I would be doing it for the wrong reasons.

I simply think of the whole getting up through the night, diapers, etc. That typically gets the thought out of my head. My husband would not want a fourth child. So whatever it takes to convince myself I wouldn't want another baby :p

And let's be real. I'm not the most patient mommy in the world. My kids drive me nuts. There are days I could lock them in a closet with some bread and water (Disclaimer: this is a joke, I would never do this, this is child abuse, do not try at home).

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